Dear Miss A,
I am mother of a 10 year old daughter. We are very close and have a great relationship. I have been divorced for 6 years, but have not dated much. My ex-husband has made my life very difficult, and I am afraid he would use my dating as a means to take my daughter away from me. He is a lawyer and has tried every trick there is. I would like to move back to my hometown out-of-state, but my ex will not allow it. Every time I meet a nice man I think about all the complications it may cause and I give up before I start. I am 45, and also worry about being alone in my later years.
Please advise me,
All Torn Up
Dear All Torn Up,
Thank you so much for writing me. I am so sorry that you are going through this. I can tell that you are very fearful of your ex-husband. I think the first thing you need to do is to speak with an attorney to see if your fears are valid. I do not know the law, but an attorney could tell you whether your dating or even re-marrying would be a factor that your ex could use in getting custody of your daughter. My suspicion is that it’s not, but again I am not an attorney, and I don’t know the legal nightmare that your ex-husband may have already put you through. I can tell that you are clearly concerned about his legal actions. I would hate for you to have to give up the romantic part of your life just because of your ex-husband, so please do speak with someone.
As for moving your daughter out-of-state, I think that may be a valid concern, so please consult a lawyer if you really do want to move back home. It’s understandable that you would want to be close to your family’s support system, but it’s also understandable that your ex-husband would want to be near his daughter.
I wish you the best! Please let me know if you talk with an attorney, and how things go. I think you will feel much better when you have clear cut facts, rather than just worrying about the possibility of legal problems.
– Miss A