First Love Gone Bad
– Desperately Undefined
Dear Desperately Undefined,
Honey, your mistake was picking up the phone to call him after 5 years. Now you have basically set yourself back 5 years, as you are back where you were originally. Yes, you need to dump him and move on. Don’t waste anymore time with this guy. He’s making excuses. He likes having you as a friend, and enjoys the great sex during your visits, but he doesn’t love you enough to not see other women. He wants his cake, and wants to eat it, too! Stop giving him that, because you’re getting nothing from this relationship except pain and misery. I know he was your first love, but first loves are first loves for a reason. It means there will be others. He may be your first, but he will never be your BEST love.
There are better men out there who won’t have you living on a rollercoaster. The highs may be wonderful in this type of relationship, but the lows are almost unbearable. I’ve been there. You deserve a more comfortable, secure, and happy relationship. Don’t feel like this is your fault for wanting what every woman wants from a relationship. It’s natural for a woman to want a commitment from a man, that’s how we are made — we want to couple up, plan a future and nest.
As for letting things “unfold naturally,” had you not picked up the phone and called him you would likely have never heard from him. That would have been the natural course. Since you called him, you have found out that this guy is a natural commitmentphobe. You’re still young and will meet great men out there –move on!
Let me know how things go!
– Miss A
too much. Should I wait and let things unfold naturally like he says despite my nagging fear that he probably will never come around, or move on completely (again)? I have put myself through this for the entire past year, when is there or has there been, a good time to get off this rollercoaster?