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Valentine’s Day Dilemma


Valentine’s Day Dilemma


Dear Miss A,

I just started seeing a lady and we have been going out steadily since January. We’ve been out about five times so far. I imagine before Feb. 14, we’ll have gone out three or four more times. So, what do I do for Feb. 14? If I go overboard, she is running for the hills. If I do little to nothing at all, she might raise an eyebrow at my negligence. What is a guy to do?


Clueless Cupid

Dear Clueless Cupid,

Call me old-fashioned, but if I was to go out with a guy nine times in the span of a month and a half, I would have to really like the guy. Truth is there aren’t that many men with whom I would enjoy spending that amount of time. I’m not someone who would accept a dinner date just to go to the hottest new restaurant, but that’s me. You are getting to the point in your relationship, where as a woman, I would want to know your intentions and the status of the relationship. I’m guessing that if your relationship hasn’t gotten physical, it will soon. So I’m assuming you really enjoy her company, things are heating up and are headed to a relationship.

You can definitely do flowers at this point in your new relationship. Don’t be afraid to do so.  I remember one guy I dated sent flowers to me the day after we had sex for the very first time. As a woman, we always feel a bit vulnerable after having sex with someone new, so I thought it was a very strong and classy move.

If you haven’t said the “L” word, which it sounds like you haven’t, then don’t do red roses — do pink. I know some girls might say that roses are so expected and cliche and that you should send something unique, but those are usually the words spoken by girls who haven’t received a lot of roses. Have the roses sent to her office on Friday, since Valentine’s Day falls on Saturday. You’ll make her workday, and it will show her co-workers and others that you think enough of her to plan ahead and pay the extra money for flowers from a nice flower shop. Don’t do Safeway roses on Saturday. That would be fine on another occassion or later in your relationship.

I also think you should make reservations at a nice restaurant for Saturday night, and have a little something to bring her when you pick her up for your date. It’s probably too early for sexy lingerie, because you don’t want her to think you’re just after sex, even though it might be true. It’s also too early for jewelry. Depending on your budget, I would get her a gift certificate for a mani/pedi at a nice salon, or a facial/massage package at a spa.

Hope this helps and congrats on finding someone you like! It’s not that easy!

– Miss A



In 2008, I launched AskMissA.com which grew from my personal blog into a site with 700 writers, covering the intersection of charity & lifestyle in 20 U.S. cities. With Charity + Life, I am going back to a personal blog where I can share my favorite things, and continue to shine a light on nonprofits, and cause marketing campaigns to inspire others to give as they live.

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